relation with a married man - compensation

Dear Friends,

My case goes as follows: I am a foreign woman who was in a relation with turkish man for more than 6 years. We were together for a short period of 4 months in the year 2001, then we separated since he was married with a kid. We haven't seen each other for more than 3 years then we met suddenly. During this period we kept in touch through emails and phone calls sometimes. When we met in the end of year 2004 we realised I haven't got over him, neither haven't he. We reunited after 8 months since I had strong doubts and objections regarding the previous bad experience. One month after we reunited the second time he announced to me that his wife is pregnant with second kid. Though according him , he didn't want this pregnancy, the baby was born. I wanted to break the relation but my love was stronger than any logic, plus he encouraged me by promising me a future starting with moving himself to separate apartment. He separated with his wife and moved to another place where we started to live partly together. He assured me he will divorce and I started to arrange my life according the new conditions. Moreover I felt responsibility after he moved to the new place alone. However one year and a half after that he left the house without informing me, just packed my things in a bag, some other throw away. I went there in middle of August 2007 finding myself in the stress situation, without complete information, he said to me he will sleep at kids' place and he will come in the morning. A little while after he left the home, his wife called and started to threat me and ask me to go away and etc. The next day I moved to hotel staying until the day my flight was scheduled. After this case I stopped talking totally to him ending this fiasko by sending email to his wife in responce to her attacks saying to her this place was my home for year and a half and sending mail to him by accusing him in disloyalty and giving clear signs for end of the story. After that he sent me mail saying to cut all with him... Anyways, I didn't intend to continue anything. Recently I found out that he did some damages on a business matter to me using the confidential information. My question is: can I apply for any kind of compenssation after all. Probably many people will accuse me, but I loved him and I believed we have a future after his promises and kids were more than welcome. The point is that he damaged intentionally or not my emotional and financial stability. I run my own business which went down during the period I was not in my country. He didn't support me financially except home expenses in Turkey. Which is worse probably for revenge he wants to destroy what I did /we did together/ to build during the period I was there in business plan. Again my question is: according the turkish and human law do I have a right for compensation and what are the legal steps for it? Any suggestions, critics, opinions are welcome. Also I would like to get in contact with english speaking attorney. Thank you. Alicia

Dear Alicia,

Your question is not clear enough.What is the exact legal conflict between you and the man you have mentioned?
"he did some damages on a business matter to me Using the confidential information" is the only phrase I could observe but it is not clear neither.

Hi Alicia,

First of all I must tell you that I can understand extremely good, what you felt during the whole relationship, because I'm a woman as well.

Secondly, I think you can apply for a kind of compensation after all because there are some kind of articles in some turkish codes (min. 2 ) in order to get compensation from the counter-party because of been cheated and etc..

Thirdly, do never blaim yourself. What you lived is not wrong, what he made to you is wrong ! These kind of problems live also the turkish women, extremely more than the foreigners. 2 weeks ago a lady (52 years old) has come to my office and wanted the same advise like you because of this kind of relation for lasting 20 years. This means you're lucky that it's finished and you're not alone.

I'm not sure if the Turkish High Court (Yargıtay) ever decided for these kinds of law-suits, or if such a suit has been opened since now but if I would have a client like you I would do my best to sue the counter-party and gain the case, because you're damaged emotionally and financially.

And the last, what you have lived is against human (and women) rights. So please fight..

Günsu: I am no lawyer, just a reader of the forum and to me, you seem like a strong advocate for women's rights, someone who is sick of the way women keep being treated, taken advantage of and disrespected. I myself have been a victim in a way you would not even imagine and perhaps you have too. If I am able and strong enough to fight, I will look you up.

Dear Alicia,

You described exactly what I feel and think about women's rights. It's not something else than human's rights. So we have all to fight against people who disrespect women on all over the world.
...
I wish you all the best..
Never forget,
that everything has an end.
...
Günsu

Dear Günsu,

You really encouraged me and I thank you for this. Though I do not know yet how I should apply for a legal claim, I think to collect a needed information in order to proceed. At the end we deserve a better destiny as women. This is a Man's world and as far as I know irresponsibility is not a virtue in any society. Official or not one must be responsible for creating relations. My case can show to women in similar situation that we have rights to require respect and all the consequense comes from it.

Alicia

Dear Gunsu:

the comment I made about believing you were an advocate for women's rights did not come from Alicia, but from me, another victim. I think you were talking about fighting for justice, but some people may incorrectly interpret this as revenge. What would society be without rules for justice anyway?. Your words that there is an end is most encouraging, sometimes simple words of encouragement make all the difference...though your response was not to my particular post, I thank you for your comments as it did help me....it seems so many people in the profession lose sight of the human side and just concentrate on how much they can make on a case.

Dear Friends,

Here I am again.
Thank you for your concern and spending some of your time to have a look and reply to my case.
I'd like to throw more light over as facts: the specific damages he did is to change important accounts' passwords. In consequence of it my access to the accounts is denied. Web sites do not work properly ever since then. However this is the small devil. The problem is total denial of any responsibility. What is not shown in the society is not something to be responsible for. It sounds like a double standart and lots of hypocrisy. I do not want anything which is not mine and out of this relation. I invested my time, feelings, etc.
I thank you for yout support. The real problem is that I do not have proper contacts in Istanbul, person who can represent me and apply on my behalf for such a claim. If you know somebody, or if you are attorney and can do this job, please send your contact details and I will get in touch with you. Thanks again.

Cheers,

Alicia

Excuse me, dear Guest.

My reply dd. 13/09/2007 was addressed to Alicia but it was indeed for you,..
But you understood that it was for you.

What you have described in your last message dd. 14/09/2007 is exactly what I want to be since the beginning of my career:
FIRST A HUMAN BEING,
THEN A LAWYER.

Therefore I wish we could see each other in the future.

Best regards,

Günsu